Living in the village of Saugerties is a blast. My apartment has no noise insulation so I can hear my neighbors fart. Although, I did have a few moments of fun with the neighbors who made my life a particular kind of hell. They just didn’t take part in it. One night when they were being particularly assholish, I realized I was able to connect to their bluetooth from my phone. So, I found the most obnoxious noises I could find and turned it up as loud as I could. I could hear the very loud fart video playing, followed by some super loud Nascar(s). My walls were vibrating. I could hear them trying to figure out what the fuck was going on and I was laughing so hard I was crying. But back to the “no noise insulation” — the same few cars speed through town with their super cool, souped up pieces of shit revving their engines as loud as they can. They do it at all hours of the day and night. My boyfriend in high school would do the same shit...he would also blast his music and make sure the bass was up as high as it would go. I could feel it in my butthole. I always hid when we drove through the village center, but — at least he had a really nice car. These turds? The VW one of them drives is the same year mine was when I was 20. Different color panels. Rust. But boy oh boy that intake. It literally sounds like the car is farting. And bro why are you doing that shit at 1 in the morning when NO ONE is around to see your stupid ass? Because isn’t that the point? To show how cool you are? 

This happens non-stop in the village. I’ve gone to the police station and filed a complaint three times, they’ve done nothing. The first time I went in I was told they only have 3 cops to cover all of Saugerties and they don’t have time to police the village. The second time was after a guy in a pick-up truck lost his mind because I was parked too far into the road for him to pull in - he called me every disgusting name in the book, peeled out, turned around, got right on my rear-end, and then peeled out around me. I was  shaking because I was so freaked out. 2 days after that happened my mirror was swiped off my car while parked in front of my store. 2 days later, swiped again. I now have cameras recording the front area of my store. 

The following week I was parked in front of my store unloading and got a parking ticket. 2 days later, unloading, another parking ticket. I got in my car and went to the police station and said, “I find it very interesting that you don’t have time to keep the village safe but you can walk up and down Partition St. with a K-9 giving out parking tickets to business owners.” She told me she could answer me but that I “probably wouldn’t understand.” I said, “Try me.” She told me they do what the town tells them to do - she has no idea what goes on in the village she’s just the middle man and does what the town tells her to. I mean…I totally understand why she thought I wouldn’t understand. That’s some very complex shit. She had an attitude from the moment she opened the door to speak with me and acted like I was interrupting her oh-so-busy day. She spoke to me like I was a moron. You see the irony.