February 7th, 2018
I'm not going to say this to you again. I'm not going to tell you again that I'm depressed and anxious and doing the best I can. Am I just insane that part of me thought you did what you did with the car because you love me? Or was it only so you could have complete control over me? I'm not going to end up back in the hospital because of you. I'm not going to end up back in the hospital because you're putting so much pressure on me that I cannot breathe or because you have no compassion and only care about coverage. If you cannot see that I am doing the best that I can and trying as hard as I can to do what I agreed to do I don't know what else to say. If I had gotten disability I would've paid you the money back that you used to pay for my car. I guess you believe that you now own me and I have to do whatever you say. That there is no wiggle room and I'm not allowed to be sick. That's not possible. It's just not. So I don't know what to do. You wanna take my car, take it. If I can find a way to borrow that money somehow to pay you back that's what I will do. I can't live having someone control me. I am doing the best I can and working as hard as I can. I was only short a few hours last month, and I had the FLU. STOP saying I'm not doing anything. STOP PRESSURING ME BECAUSE I CANNOT DEAL. Don't be surprised if I end up back in the hospital. That is the direction I've been headed in for weeks. My mental health is not good right now. At all.
